Hippie Chick Pie Wagon (aka Ann Coulter)

Here are some excerpts from Ann Coulter's unpublished [unpublishable by any legitimate media outlet] column for July 26:

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazened with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.

[snip]

...My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

Apparently the Hippie Chick Pie Wagon thinks she's a pretty girl. Pretty = Republican; ugly = Democrat. Who says Republicans aren't divisive name-callers?

The nuts in the cages are virtual Bertrand Russells compared to the official speakers at the Democratic Convention. On the basis of their placards, I gather the caged-nut position is that they love the troops so much, they don't want them to get hurt defending America from terrorist attack. Support the troops, the signs say, bring them home.

That's my new position on all government workers, except the 5% who aren't useless, which is to say cops, prosecutors, firemen and U.S. servicemen. I love bureaucrats at the National Endowment of the Arts funding crucifixes submerged in urine so much -- I think they should go home. I love public school teachers punishing any mention of God and banning Christmas songs so much -- I think they should go home.

Echoes of the Reagan era theme that 'Government is bad' [except for that part of government that carries guns and can send people to prison. {I wonder how firemen got in the Hippie Chick Pie Wagon's favored list--they don't carry guns!?}]

Looking at the line-up of speakers at the Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We'll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he'll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them.

[snip]

...I want Americans to get a good long look at the French Party and keep the 7-11 challenge in mind.

Ad hominem attacks are the best the Hippy Chick Pie Wagon can come up with? This is a prime example of Republican divisiveness: nothing about policy, public service, etc. Just government-bashing and name-calling.

I apologize for resorting to name-calling myself, but whenever politicians and pundits engage in it, they have earned a nickname from me:

• Arnold Schwarzeneggar= "Girly Man"
• Ann Coulter= "Hippie Chick Pie Wagon"

Father, let me dedicate All this year to you
In whatever earthly state You will have me be
Not from sorrow, pain, or care Freedom dare I claim;
This alone shall be my prayer: Glorify Your name.
--from New Year's Hymn by Lawrence Tuttiett, 1864 (alt.)